3 Steps to keep those negative thoughts at bay

3 Steps to keep those negative thoughts at bay Do you ever have those days when  nothing goes right? That you’re stressed to the point of breaking? And you end up hanging your head, telling yourself you are rubbish at motherhood and balancing everything? Recently, I heard one of my clients utter the words I am a crap mum and it broke my heart. Yet this is not uncommon. We all have those days, I have those days days when everything doesnt go as planned and kids get upset, work doesn’t get finished and dinner is burnt. According to an Ernst and Young survey for workingmother.com, 49% of working mothers say they are their own worst critic. That means that almost half of us are beating ourselves up, putting ourselves down and telling ourselves that we are crap mums. Inevitably, when we keep telling ourselves that we are rubbish at this or that and use the I am a versus I am being” in the sentence, we start to believe it is part of our identity and something we cannot change. We become resigned to it, get stressed, upset and possibly depressed. What is happening in our brains when we repeat this mantra  (because our brains believe whatever we tell it) is that neural pathway of I’m am rubbish at being a mum becomes thicker and easier to travel. Furthermore, our brains will find ways to reinforce that story because our brains like certainty.   So it will find more examples of how we are doing a bad job just to prove its point, reinforce that partciluar neural pathway and create certainty. You could say it is like the brain is playing spotto (the car playing game where whoever spots the most yellow cars wins) but instead of spotting yellow cars, the brain is spotting examples of failure.  And so the game goes on. However, WE ARE NOT FAILING AS A MUMS. Now I am not negating the seriousness of what it is we are feeling, but it is NOT WHO WE ARE it is not who YOU are. It is what is happening around you and your reaction to it. But to just change the mantra isn’t going to work because your brain is still playing the same game of spotto. Instead, you need to start playing a different game of spotto.  The brain needs to look for more positive examples of what makes you a good mum in order to create new neural pathways. Here are 3 steps you can take to shift your mantra from I am rubbish at motherhood and resigned to feeling disappointed to a mantra of I am a good mum with feelings of resilience to overcome those crap days. Step 1 Take 3 big breaths. This pause gives your rational brain, the neocortex, time necessary to catch up with your amygdala that is making you feel crazy.  Also taking big deep slow breaths activates the pre-Botzinger cortex in the brain that will calm you down by slowing the release of cortisol into your bloodstream. Step 2 Ask yourself When have I been a great mum?” Think and say 3 examples of when you feel you have had a successful parenting day and of when you have been a good mum. Describe them in as much detail as possible and think about how your kids behaved during these times too. Remembering these times will force your brain to create new neural pathways. With each example you are paying down myelin over that new neural pathway and making it stronger. The more this happens, the more embedded that new neural pathway of “I am a good mum”   and I am worthy will be in your brain. All of a sudden, the brain is playing a different game of “spotto”. Step 3 Keep reinforcing the new neural pathway by repeating to yourself   I AM a good mum who is having a not so great week and this too shall pass”. The more you tell yourself this and back it up with examples, the more your brain will identify this “I am failing in motherhood ” story as a temporary behaviour and not your identity. Circle back to Step 1 if you are still anxious and continue with it until you believe it a little more. Soon you will feel your breathing slow and your mind clear so you can be balanced during your not so great week. This shift in the “spotto” game enables you to rise up from resigned to resilient and believe that YOU ARE BEING THE BEST MUM YOU CAN. Spotto! You are being a GREAT MUM! About Shannon Shannon  coaches working mothers to bring more of their authentic self and align with their purpose to uplevel their performance so they can smash their results and then switch off at home to be present for their loved ones â€" happy in the knowledge that they are fulfilling their potential at work and at home. What this means for organisations is that they don’t lose those driven, intelligent and ambitious women previously identified as “talent” to the mommy track or other businesses including self-employed after investing so much time, effort and money into their succession planning. Women do want to work and have a career with purpose yet more than 70% go back to work only for the paycheck (according to EY research) so organisations must reconnect and re-engage these women to thrive in their organisations to gain a positive ROI. What this means for the individual is that they re-engage with their passion that drives them at home and at work. They learn to balance the two and intertwine them with a particular set of skills to be successful in both arenas. They rediscover themselves, their goals and their passion to have it all with a clear conscience. With working mothers achieving more and being more balanced, we can improve the lives of children â€" future generations, everywhere. Discover more about Shannon’s business  here. FlexCareers offers a FREE 30-minute introductory meeting with our  FlexCoaches, to help you establish if coaching is right for you. You can contact Shannon through FlexCareers  here.

Things You Should Know About Easy Resume Template

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Workplaces, hotels see bleisure as a growing norm for business travel

Work environments, lodgings see 'bleisure' as a developing standard for business travel Work environments, inns see 'bleisure' as a developing standard for business travel Consolidating a relaxation outing with business travel, otherwise called bleisure, is developing in fame among corporate voyagers, and while the pattern was spearheaded by millennials as an approach to get a good deal on their short excursions, most of corporate explorers among baby boomers and Generation X are getting on. Truth be told, about 80% of officials include relaxation travel onto their excursions for work, as per a review of more than 3,000 executive level or more business experts led by SmartBrief in 2017.As more representatives are seeing the open door for bleisure travel as an advantage, organizations â€" and hotels â€"are recognizing the informal advantage as a pattern that furnishes representatives with more prominent occupation fulfillment and by and large joy as it takes into consideration an equalization of work and play.Follow Ladders on Flipboard!Follow Ladders' magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and more! Wor kplaces on boardCompanies seem steady of the new pattern, permitting staff individuals to add recreation time to excursions for work, particularly if the worker offers to pay for the additional housing and costs. In spite of the fact that by and large, an organization may take care of the check for weekend travel, on the off chance that it will make the work week progressively beneficial and successful.Danielle Schlowow, senior development specialist at Multiplica, a computerized office, voyages universally for work and says that while her business pays for her whole work trip, she will up-offer it as a chance to interface with the individuals she met at a work event.I let them realize I'm having espresso with this person, lunch with this person and supper with someone or other, she clarifies, including this is an extraordinary method to extend her system and associate with individuals she in any case would not have had the opportunity to talk with.While some millennials prefer to k eep their bleisure travel days a mystery out of dread of looking amateurish, those get-away days are much of the time empowered by employers. We have seen bleisure travel develop for the most part since more partnerships are permitting it, but on the other hand are grasping it, says Dave Hershberger, president of Prestige Travel Leaders in Cincinnati, Ohio.Popular destinationsIn the US, business explorers are attaching relaxation in significant urban communities, for example, San Diego, Seattle, Boston and Minneapolis. Abroad, Tokyo, Singapore, and Sydney are the top hot spots for bleisure travel. Hong Kong and Melbourne are evaluated as the top quality goals by corporate voyagers, for the most part because of the transportation frameworks, feeling of security and eating options.Hotels are speaking to bleisure explorers by offering co-working spaces that go past the customary business centers.In the US, the Ace Hotel in New York City includes a hall with shared tables and a lot of e lectrical outlets, and the Virgin Hotel in Chicago has its Virgin Commons Club, a collaborating space with a month to month participation. The Hutton Hotel in Nashville offers journalists studios and nearness to the vibrant Music City attractions.Abroad, Hobo Hotel in Stockholm promotes itself as a gathering point, a working environment, an office or only a pleasant spot to visit and hang out. Tobacco Caye Paradise in Belize offers an overwater cabin collaborating space.The Belizean the travel industry is completely dedicated to obliging the necessities of our visitors, regardless of whether they're looking for a rainforest experience, world-class scuba plunging along the Belize Barrier Reef or an unwinding overwater home to get done with spreading out the last slides of an introduction… in the event that you should, says Karen Bevans, chief of the travel industry at the Belize Tourism Board.Experts say bringing the family along when going for business diminishes pressure since ex plorers can stay away from the interruption of missing friends and family and concentrate better during gatherings. Modern travel arrangements, such as Freebird, in like manner try to decrease weight on voyagers by dealing with ticket appointments after a failed to catch plane or cancelation. These simple arrangements and helpful applications are greatly well known with visit voyagers, as business travelers typically have 3.1 travel apps.Mart Tucci of Naya Traveler says partaking in bleisure head out permits individuals to separate from the worries of business travel, truly switch off and investigate another destination.A manual for bleisure travelTo exploit these loosening up movement days, gatherings planned for the start or end of the work week are suggested, as they give the ideal chance to appreciate a city longer than an end of the week without losing any get-away days. In the event that a worker is hoping to set aside cash during this time, maybe inquire as to whether it's co nceivable to utilize their housing rate at a lodging, which is commonly less expensive than an inn's standard daily rate. Representatives ought to be readied, in any case, to perhaps pay for their own suppers and lodging once the work segment of an outing has ended.Typically following the finish of summers, there is an enormous flood in bleisure travel. September sees a 15% ascent in bleisure trips, while October sees a 18% lift, agreeing to Forbes.If you need to inundate into a one of a kind culture and way of life, it merits putting resources into a movement organizer that can tailor your schedule around your inclinations and time imperatives, Tucci suggests.This article initially showed up on SmartBrief. You may likewise appreciate… New neuroscience uncovers 4 ceremonies that will fulfill you Outsiders know your social class in the initial seven words you state, study finds 10 exercises from Benjamin Franklin's day by day plan that will twofold your profitability The most noticeably awful slip-ups you can make in a meeting, as per 12 CEOs 10 propensities for intellectually resilient individuals

Bear Gifts to an Informational Interview - Melissa Llarena

Bear Gifts to an Informational Interview Bear Gifts to an Informational Interview Show appreciation when you are given a gift. An informational interview is a gift to a job seeker or a curious soul. You will surface the data you need to support your career transition if you focus your efforts on figuring out how to best express your appreciation to an interviewee. This happens because you need to do homework to learn what an interviewee would deem valuable, specifically you need to; a) learn about your contact, b) where they work, and c) who they work with BEFORE you meet them.What to learn about your contact. Search the web, if your efforts are unfruitful then find their job description using a company or job website. Aim to learn about the projects that your contact (for example, let’s say you are meeting with someone named Mary) works on to better prepare your questions, where she has worked to see if you have anything in common, and her top skills so that you can refer to the ones you share as part of your own profess ional story. A good question to ask using this data is: “what skills do you think make you a better associate/team member in your firm or within the context of your current assignment?”. With these skills in mind, consider who you know that is a relevant expert. For example, if financial modeling is critical then introduce her to your modeling professor. Your interviewee can gain tips from your professor and your “prof” can see how practitioners are applying concepts. This is a double expression of appreciation.What to learn about her employer.   Specifically, identify the firm’s competitors.   Understand if the company is the “Coke”, “Pepsi”, or a lower tier player in its industry to become better versed in its special challenges. If the firm is the #1 player then offer thoughtful suggestions of #1 players in other industries that have tackled similar challenges to those Mary is attempting to solve. If the firm is the #2 player than suggest strategies (e.g. social media or pursuing a niche) that other #2 players have leveraged to distinguish their offerings. Meanwhile, if your contact’s firm is a lesser known player then offer informed ideas on how your contact can capitalize on external opportunities within the confines of her job.What to learn about her colleagues. Find the “rainmakers” in Mary’s firm. They are executive team members, leaders of growing regions, those managing PLs, and board of directors. Also seek this data via LinkedIn…see who has impressive professional results listed on their profile. Chances are Mary won’t know that for instance, Gabriel started out as a cashier at Target and is now the EVP of merchandising. This data can serve you well by increasing your contact’s IQ immediately. Then after the informational interview, see if you know ANYONE that could bring your contact closer to these rainmakers. This would be an amazing way to show your appreciation for your contact’s time and brain cells. How woul d you want someone to show their appreciation to you…if you offered them an informational interview?